Another '11th'

Of course, I haven't posted since last year, but I have a good reason: Exams! Ugh, could someone put them to death; I don't think that’s a sin...

But, what I want to talk about is today. The Eleventh. September 11th, is a VERY special day to me. And I love that date. That is because my first true love, Bobby, asked me out on that day... And every 11th, good or bad, after that, has been very dear to my heart.

But today, for some reason, I don't have this pain in my heart. Making me want to cry and go run for him to take me back.

No. I have become stronger, and I just cannot believe I just hate who he likes right now. (I sure have improved though, huh?)

But I have a reason! Because who I kind of like right this moment, is Bobbie's crushes boyfriend. Which I HATE how they both like her! It's not like she stunningly pretty either! She's weird! I'm normal! Do the normal girls get nothing for being normal?!?! It's not fair!

-Sigh-

But today is about Bobby. He broke up with me 2 years, and two days ago. Well, the first time we broke up it was that date... I don't even remember what day I decided to end it with him the second time... But I still love him, because he IS my first TRUE love! BUT I can get over him now... Just a little... But my heart is still fluttering for this new guy...

And I have a plan. Just as I had a plan to get Bobbie back, I have a plan just to get... What should I call him? Tyler... back! And I had gotten Bobbie back, so getting Tyler would be no problem right?

WRONG. He is so complicated! I swear... He gives me mixed signals, and I know he probably doesn't like me like that... Which sucks... But then, he randomly hugs me and always walks me to my classes and such... And sometimes when we are standing in the hall talking, he like... gets closer to me as if he were getting closer to kiss me... And my heart jumps every time... And I know that he's NOT going to kiss me! I just... It just looks that way it does in a movie. When the guy goes closer as in testing the girl to see if she notices the shift or if she shuts up... Then he kisses her to make her shut up... And I kind of missed that feeling of having a crush... And I don't blame myself! It's been almost THREE years since I have liked someone that wasn't BOBBIE! THAT is how much time I put into USELESS BOBBIE!

-sigh-

But Tyler is just... Different... And I kind of don't want to like him... Not because I don't want to get over Bobbie, but because (1) I can't stand being second anymore. (2) I can't have my heart broken again... (3) He's kind of mean... (4) And he doesn't care...

But... He's adorable... Can be sweet... Fun to hang around with, most of the time, I can talk to him about almost anything, I don't feel uncomfortable and awkward around him... We can talk for hours and I can never get bored...

See my difficult decision?!?!?! But I don't love him so should I get away when I can, or go on with the plan on trying to get him back?!?!

911!!! I need your help!!! Please answer!