Moving on?

So, I kind of don't want to say anything. But I will tell you my whole week:

Sunday: Went to the beach with my best guy friend, Chad. And coming home I get a text from the poetry co-president. (Let’s name him...Henry.) Weird, kind of. I have barely said anything to him even at poetry, the only time I had ever talked to him, was to find out why I wasn't able to find him on Facebook. Yeah, weirder thing is: He asked me out. I didn't say yes... I don't think I want to go out with him.

Monday: I re-took my CPT again, and I passed, which meant I am able to take my freshmen English in dual enrollment over the summer, instead of doing AP Lang, at school. And So I only went to school for less than two hours, and when I first got there, I had to talk to the college consular to get me all set up for Dual Enrollment. When I got there, with my mother, it was 5th period, and Henry was sitting there waiting to talk to another consular. And he kind of talked to me, but it was like mega awkward, as it is always when I talk to a guy, I can't really talk to at all... And so, thank God, The lady I needed to talk to, walked in maybe five minutes after we got there. So, we got that taken care of, and the rest of the day was whatever.

Tuesday: I was really sick. I didn't go to school at all. I texted Henry and went to the doctors. I have a new doctor. I don't like him; he wouldn't give me a referral to see my dermatologist and was like "It's a waste of the government’s money." And I was just not in the mood to hear that. And I was just so mad. So we were there for like two hours for nothing. And now I am taking five pills of medicine in the morning and nine at night. So much fun, huh?

Wednesday: Nothing happened.  But when I first got to school Tyler hugged me, and I hugged him back, and you know how when you hug someone it's just a squeeze and release? Well, when I squeezed, I started to release, but Tyler didn't... It doesn't mean anything, because the last time I talked to him was Saturday, and he did not text me to find out where I had been for the past two days, I could have been dead, and he not notice. But I thought the hug was nice... Just not Tyler-ish. I wore a very cute outfit, a skirt with a tank-top, with a cover up, but what really tied the outfit together was my necklace and earrings, and I had a sailor theme. I found out the teacher I T.A. for, his mother died. This is the 3rd teacher of mine that a parent has died; I guess it happened in the middle of 7th period, which is when I go in for him, so I am happy I didn't have to deal with that craziness. Now I don't know when he will come back home from school.

After school, Tyler texted me, and asked me to divide something I maybe talked to him for half an hour, and then before he could get mad at me I said bye. I don't think he wanted to not text me... But he was like "Okay... Bye."

Thursday: Boring day. I talked to Toby, not about much though. Tyler, I don't think, likes me talking to him because when he comes out of his classroom and sees me talking to him, he kind of just stands there, and I think even Toby senses it... And even though Tyler told me to come with him to class, he didn't really say anything... He didn't even hug me, but lately when he puts out his arms for a hug (with the exception of yesterday) I just shake my head, and he doesn't get a hug. And maybe then he will realize something? But mostly it's because I love his hugs too much, and I have to not thrive off of them, until he is nice to me...

Friday: Boring and didn't feel like Friday. Before 8th period, I was talking to my little freshmen, and Tyler came up, for her, of course, but she was preoccupied with Bobbie, which was bothering me. Tyler came up and I hugged him then. I just had to. I also had a track meet, in which I did the 4x800. And my race members did not want me to perform with them. But my coach wanted me in it, so I ran, I believe I did very very even though I lost our lead of being in first, I was third to run, the last person got us so much further behind and made up for nothing. So we got 2nd place for that, as I had a panic attack because I couldn't breathe after that, and I was trying to throw up, but there was nothing to throw up. It was horrible. And I was texting Henry like all day, and I like texting him. Then he asked if we could hang out, but I don't even know if I can, like I don't feel comfortable with going out with him... I don't know why. But the thing is, this is how my mind was going about with me wanting to hang out with Tyler, was as a friend, of course I don't have to tell my mother that it's a date, if it's a date. And I think he can tell that I don't want to go, which really isn't the case. It's just me siking myself out. Oh and during 3rd period I was texting two guys who I don't really like like, barely like as people, really, and this girl asked me if I had a crush on one of them, and I was like "No." And she was like "That makes you a slut." Great huh? Now I am a slut. For texting people who I don't like, because I am 'leading them on'. THEY text me! I can't decide that! It's not like I bug them to death with text, but it's not like they do that to me.

Saturday: Which is today. it's only 9:26, 16 minutes ago Tyler started to text me. I have done very well in trying not to text him. Which I haven’t been the first to text him. But if he texts me, it's alright, right? So I am pretty much only typing this out and waiting for Henry to wake up, because I guess, last night I was sleep texting him for a good half hour. Nice huh? And I'm trying to make plans to see a movie with Tyler. This is a bad idea, I just know it. I hate myself.