Tyler is just... Perfect... Today we went to Islands of Adventure... And found out how much of a dork I can actually get... He kissed me... I knew it was coming, so I guess I happy we got it over at somewhere that wasn't school. We were outside of this Dual Dragon ride and we got two rides in front of everyone we were with... So we were just waiting... And he was just being cute and holding my hands and such, then he kissed me.... And I knew it was horrible... And he even said "Well, that was awkward..." And I told him that I've only had two other kisses in my life, then he kind of understood... But then the rest of the day he kept kissing me... It was so weird...
You know how, if you're a girl, if you have never had a first kiss? You see in movies and shows how perfect kisses are? And it looks as if they are just melting into each other? Well, sorry to break the news to you, but thats not how it happens... It's awkward and all I have to say, is thank God I don't have braces, or he doesn't or we didn't hit teeth or something like really bad... But no. I was just a horrible kisser. And I know this for a fact, because the first thing he texted me after I dropped him off at his house was "You don't know how to kiss...." What a wonderful boyfriend, right? (Still can't get over the fact that I have a boyfriend...) Then guess what happened next. Yup. He said I just need to practice. Yey! Right? No! I'm freaking out! T_T
I don't know why I'm freaking out... I just am... -sigh- Like right now I'm not so uptight about it... But I still kind of am at the same time... There's nothing I can do to change it but wait...
My father. Oh. My. Freaking. God. I don't like him. Sorry, I just don't. He told my mother that he doesn't like me, should I show him something he doesn't have for me? Why waste my time? I'm not going to though.
So, everything my Father does, pisses me off. I swear. We get to the park and our tickets weren't working and so Tyler didn't know they weren't working so he was still trying to get it to work, when my dad started to walk away. And when we started to walk towards my dad he was like "You need to start paying attention!!!" And I said "We ARE paying attention, dad!" and he said "Then what are you doing?!?!?" and I said "Does it matter?!" and Tyler, being the little smart ass he is, said, "That conversation turned out just like I thought it would." and I was NOT it the mood so, I glared at him, told him to shut up and kept walking... Then he came up and hugged me and was like "Are you okay?" And I said "Yes... I'm fine.. I'm sorry I snapped at you..." and it was like he didn't even noticed that I had snapped at him... Which was kind of sad...But whatever. Then we got into the park and my dad had his arm around me and I was moving it and telling him to get off of me, and he kept putting it back, and so I actually moved away from him and told him to stop. And then LATER I asked Tyler what he thought of my dad, and Tyler was like "Well, at least he's trying..." meaning I don't try!!! HE doesn't try! The reason why I don't want him touching me is because all I can think about is him freaking molesting me! Which he does ever time he touches me!!! (Not like illigal molestation...) But I can't tell Tyler that. Because he doesn't know that all my father does at home is watch porn!
I'm sorry... If you could not have told by now, I am frustrated... With myself and my family... I don't know... I'm just mentally exhausted... Which I have been for the last couple of days..
I'm thinking of going to bed and it's only 9:30 p.m. yey...
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