She's Winning...

So still can't do anything in front of her... Which is so stupid...
So many things people have told me:

1: This is like the dumbest thing I have EVER heard!
2: Dump him, then he'll realize that he messed up then come back to you.
3: Talk to him.
4: Talk to her.
5: Just go up to him, make out with him and flick her off while you are doing it. You will be physically flicking her off and mentally flicking her off at the same time!!

I think I like #5 the best xDD

But with #1, that is what I'M thinking! Who seriously makes rules for someone else's boyfriend??? I mean it's MY boyfriend, and I don't even have rules for him!

With #2... Don't you think THAT is dumb?? Because Tyler isn't going to think to try to win me back, he'll just think that he lost me... And I don't even want to think what would happen  between him and her after that...

With #3... He wouldn't listen... And even if he did... I'm afraid that he'll take HER side... I know that is really horrible to think about... And it is very horrible... And shouldn't he ASK how I feel about this?? Or KNOW how I would feel about this???

With #4... There's a few things I would like to yell at her... But then she would just either play this innocent look or just go crying to Tyler... Then Tyler would be upset with me... Plus then he would have to comfort her.... Which would suck majorly...

With #5... Like I said before, LOVE this idea... But I stay away from both of them together and she stays away from us when we're together. Which I like to do... And I doubt if I tried to even go in for a kiss with him he wouldn't kiss back... So it would just be embarrassing for me.



But she's getting what she wants. She tearing me from him practically, because he has to 'split our time together.' Which is stupid... But I just have to deal with it for another week.. Then it's exams, then it's all over. And he's mine for the summer. At least we won't have to worry about any 'rules' then...

8 more days... That's all it takes for freedom... With my boyfriend... Weird much?

Really...?

So, guess what? Angela's back home! YEY! She was in Italy for like 2 and 1/2 weeks.
Guess what? She was NOT missed by me.
Guess what? So, this morning we are going to my class, and Tyler was like "Oh, could we lay off the couple stuff when Angela is around?" And I'm like "Okay, sure. Whatever." because I seriously didn't care. I was thinking I wouldn't be around them either way, so no big deal. And then I was thinking... Then I asked.. "But she knows... Right?" And good old Tyler says "... No.... I have to work on that..." And I'm thinking "It doesn't matter, because I haven't told Henry, so I'm just as guilty, so I didn't make a big deal out of it. Plus it's not that big of a deal..." And then after 5th period, Tyler was talking and said "So, I told Angela about us..." And I was like, "Okay? What she say?" And then he was like "Well, nothing yet, she hasn't texted back..." And I was like "Really?" and he didn't understand why I would think that would be bad. Then I then found out after 6th period that she wanted Tyler back... What the heck?!?! SHE dumped HIM because she's a freaking Mormon! Mormons can't date NON-Mormans. Tyler's a BAPTIST. Which is NOT  a Mormon. And after dating him for a year, said she didn't want to hide it anymore, so they were over. Who does that?!?! Who dates someone for a YEAR then decides: Oh, yea, I can't lie to my parents anymore. It's already been a year, if you like him, either fight for him, or keep dating him, it's been working out so far.
But then again, I can't really complain about her dumping him, because if she hadn't then we wouldn't really be...
Now, all I know, is that we can't do anything couply around her... But I didn't want to either way... But the thing is... This means she doesn't approve of us dating... But we're still dating... So, is this good?
And I talked to Tyler about Angela.. And if he likes her still. Well, I actually asked it he was truly over her... And he made this face, which really did make me believe him more... And he was like "Yea, I had to get over her. That's why she broke up with me when she did..."
So, he told me he was over her. And then he practically just turned down Angela for me... That's a good thing right? Why am I even questioning it.. Of course it is... So, she's just really upsetting me.. I mean, who does that? Really?

Guy: Hey, me and this girl are dating.
Girl: But I want you back!
Guy: But you broke up with me like forever ago...?
Girl: But this trip to Italy has made me recognize how much I truly love you and want you back!
-----------
Me: Are you kidding me?

I Was Fine... Until Last Night...

So, yesterday a lot happened... In the morning Tyler and I were just sitting like normal... And we started to make out. It was fine whatever. We continued to do that throughout the day. Then during 7th period, AP sciences were having a field day, so we were out on the football field then, and Tyler and I were just sitting beside the wall, just talking, holding hands, etc. Then these girls come out with this bucket, and drop the bucket, which was filled with water balloons, and it was so hot outside, when the waterballons touched the ground, they were popping because of the heat. And Tyler got a hold of two, and was about to throw one, but then I guess he decided against it and it popped right in front of us, then he threw one at someone and then they threw one at the wall we were sitting on, and my back got a little wet, and like my hair got wet a little. (Yey! Messed up hair!) Then my friend came up, and I had to move away from the wall, because the water was getting my butt wet and it wasn't feeling good. Then my friend came up and was like "Hey did you get wet from the water balloon?" and I was like "Well, not that much.." and then she threw one at my head! My whole head was soaked. And the bottom of the shirt was wet, which then became see through. Yey! So I went into the bathroom fixed my eyeliner, (Yea... I'm such a girl...) and then combed through my wet hair. Couldn't really do anything about my shirt... At least it was only my tummy showing. Then Tyler and I were just standing up and talking and he hugged me and was like "Your hair feels cold." and I was like "Well, that may be because its wet?" and he was like "I know, but it feels good." I just rolled my eyes and then we kept talking and we were holding hands and this girl came up and was like "Are you guys dating??" and I was like 'Why would you even ask that?' and Tyler was goofing off and was like "Noo..." then he put my hand behind his back, but the thing is, if he didn't want people to know that we were dating he would have let go, so that means he doesn't care. But I don't think it would have mattered, he's more of a PDA guy than I thought he would be... But that’s technically not a bad thing... Bobbie was more like a behind closed doors person.

Before now, I had been thinking that I shouldn't invite Tyler to the bowling alley, which I was planning on going to for a few days, then going to the mall with Tyler today, but then my mom was saying how we were going to go to Busch Gardens today, which we couldn't have done, because I had plans with my friend to get together to do our science project (Hints the reason why I am typing this this morning.). So, I thought I was going to have my friend come over right after school tomorrow, and then we could get it over with. And she thought the same thing but she didn't come over, but whatever. So I asked the person who put the bowling thing into action, if Tyler could come, and Tyler became my ride, and when we were driving and then I don't even know what I said, but I said something then he was like "Maybe a college in New York isn't that bad sounding..." Which is a really touchy subject for me... He doesn't know that, but I really don't want him to move away... But I don't want to hold him back either... This school in New York is like perfect for him... But I'm being selfish and I don't want him to leave me here... So I got all quiet... And he was like "I was joking.." and I'm like "No you're not!" and then when we parked he tried to kiss me but I looked away and he was just looking at me with his sad eyes saying sorry... And I just got out of the car, then when I walked over to him I kissed him and he was like "I'm sorry..." and I was like "I know...” And then we walked up there...

However, on the Facebook message she put "8-10" and so Tyler and I, after being lost for most of the time, got there two minutes early. Then I texted her and was like "You here?" and she replied "At 9?" So I was with Tyler for an hour alone. In his car... We first ended up on the benches outside. But he was wearing a 'nice' shirt so we went to sit inside his car and listened to his weird music that was on his IPod for 45 minutes. And we would just be kissing, he put one weird song and we started to kiss, and he was like "Wow, never thought I would kiss a girl while listening to that song..." It was actually kind of funny.

Whenever the girl that invited me Got there, I saw their minivan, and her mother thinks I'm a whore, because Bobbies ex-girlfriend, the one before me, was my best friend, so I went out with Bobbie after her, so the parents just hate me for it. And Tyler knows all of this and her mom just dropped them off, and we were walking up there, and she was turning around and I was holding his hand and he let go and was like "Do you think it's a good idea with her seeing us together?" and I was like "What does it matter? She already thinks I'm a whore, can't get any worse." But she smiled and waved when I did. So we walk in there and only like 5 other people were there, 10 others were supposed to come. And they had a 35 minute wait for lanes, Bobbie was planning on going I guess, I really didn't expect him to come, because it was an invite through Facebook and he never goes on... But whatever... So he was there we were starting to bowl, I got on Tyler’s team of course, and I joked around with Bobbie a little bit, because he wasn’t the best at bowling, but of course better than me,  but I got second in both rounds, and better than Tyler on both of them. LOL. And I told him that I suck at bowling, which isn't false, because I am not any good. But Tyler would randomly kiss me, and Tori,(The girl who invited me) asked me to come over and I did and she was like "When did that happen?" And I guess it happened during Spring Break... But I just told her last week, because that when everything wasn't so complex... And she was like "So, it's not complicated anymore?" and I was like "No. Not anymore." and she was like "What made it uncomplicated?" and I just said he fixed everything, because none of it was on me... It was all him... And then she was like "So, he doesn't like Angela anymore?" and I said no... But I completely hesitated. She saw it too, I didn't even think that he would still like her... And like I said before, I would never think he would cheat on me, but I still don't want to be second... And after that I was kind of a bummer and I went to sit back down with him, and he was like "What’s wrong?" and I was just thinking about her... And I was like "Nothing..." and he said "Well, you were just all happy but now you look sad." and then he kissed my cheek and asked if I was sure if I was okay.. And I was like "Yeah, I'm sure." And then moved on, then I guess at one point, I got really close to him and we were kissing and my sister just had walked in. It was kind of scary, but she didn't know we were kissing. But still, I was like "How long have you been here??" and she said she had only just gotten there, but then later told me she saw that... How awkward, right?? And they went and rolled around, then was just sat there, I'm not sure if they were just standing there or what not, it was just really creepy, and when the game ended, I switched shoes, and then told Tyler to come over to where I was, because my sister was at the front and could see us from where we were to begin with and we just started kissing, and I was pulling away giving him the hint to stop, and he wasn't it was funny, because he was tilting, and then when we stopped he was like "Wait, why were we just kissing? I'm confused..." And I said "Because my mom is out there and I'm not going to kiss you out there."

It's always better when it's just us, and we aren’t fighting and we are just talking about anything.

I think my friend, Chad has replaced me as a friend, because he doesn't like Tyler, and his mom doesn't like how Tyler drove me there. And such, but whatever. It doesn't matter what they think about how we turned out to be. I love how yesterday turned out to be. It was really just perfect..

What was really weird though is when we got there, there was a girl in Tyler's 7th period who was there, then my 8th period freshmen was there for her birthday. And it was in the beginning when I was holding hands with Tyler and I was about to kiss him and I don't know how, but I saw one of her friends and then I moved around Tyler and saw my freshmen. And we both looked at each other like "Why are you here??" And I went over and was like "Happy Birthday!!!" Because that’s why she was there, I knew that and she was like "Why are you here?" and I was like "Just hanging out with some friends..." And it was just so awkward. So I went back over to Tyler.

But overall, thinking about how awesome yesterday went, I think it was perfect, if only Tori didn't open her stupid mouth...

I Got Here By Running My Mouth.

So, right now I feel like I should really write... But I don't know what to talk about...

Like you really want to hear about how kissing Tyler is totally less awkward now. Or how we got yelled at for PDA this morning... Or how our 7th period, will not stop talking about how Tyler and I are together... But then again, everyone saw it coming. I would put how my week has been going by, which I might just do, but it's only Wednesday... But it seems like a lot has happened...

Monday I was just way too scared to kiss Tyler and after 4th period he walked me to class and right before going inside the class, and we were holding hands and like inched away from him, and he like, pulled me in for a kiss, and it was fine. So not as weird as it should have been. I got my tickets from Henry... But I avoided meeting him when I had time that I would spend with Tyler... I have to tell Henry soon about Tyler, but I don't want to hurt his feelings...

Tuesday I see him after 4th period, and he comes out of his classroom, because he told me to wait for him. Then when he came out he kissed me right when he saw me. I was just really shocked... And then I kissed him goodbye a little later, then he came up and walked upstairs with me after 5th and my friend, Jenni, wasn't there, and I really didn't want to leave to go to where I knew she was... Plus she was in a mood. So, I just stood there with Tyler, and then when he had to go I kissed him goodbye, and started walking toward Jenni. She had listened to the full preview for All Time Low. So, she was like super happy... And I saw Tyler after 7th and had a bad kiss goodbye... Just really weird... And during 3rd period, I had this girl that I don't like talking to me, telling me I hug Tyler way too long, apparently she hasn't seen us kissing, which is a good thing. But then she was like "So, how does Henry feel about this?" And I got like really quiet and now I feel like a slut for not telling Henry... But how am I supposed to tell him?? I need help on that, so if anyone wants to offer advice, I'm all ears... And I went to Japanese Steak House at the mall with some people, and walked around the mall afterwards, I'm hopefully going to the mall with Tyler this weekend.. Angela's in Italy and she posted on Tyler’s wall that she missed him... Ugh... But it doesn't really matter, right? Tyler's mine and he would never cheat on me... I hope... And also we were texting after school, and I said something about how my dad will not allow me to have a tattoo. And he was like "You're not seriously thinking of getting one right?" and I was like "Why not, and I also want a belly ring, but I have to wait until I'm 18 to get both of them, so whatever." and his response was: "... If you get either one of those, I will break up with you... Just fair warning..." I'm thinking: 'Wow... Really?' And I turn 18 during my senior year, his freshmen year of college. So I said "Well, you'll be off to college anyways, so it won't matter...” and he said "So you intend to ditch me after I leave for college? Nice to know." and I said "No. I'm thinking the other way around." And he said no. Then I found out that all of his 3 relationships, he was dumped. Great... And he didn't know that I have had relationships between him and Bobbie, until I told him. I'm not like a complete loser... They just never were really serious...  Like I hope this one turns out to be... And it's not like I hope our relationship doesn't just last 6 months, but I'm not putting all of my hopes into it lasting so long.. But who knows, maybe it will... Maybe it's really just meant to be. Maybe he will choose not to go to that stupid college in New York and stay down here for me... Maybe we will end up dating for more than a year... Maybe. But maybe not.

Today, as of it being Wednesday. was pretty good... I came up to Tyler and hugged him in the morning, and he had turned around and kissed me... And then we sat down, and he had his arm around my waist and we were holding hands, then I turned around to talk to this kid, and Tyler had his head on my  shoulder, his face to mine... It's really not as awkward as it sounds... And this lady yelled at us for PDA. Really? It's not even like we were kissing... And I saw that she was yelling at us so I kind of moved away from him, and then she was telling him to take his arm completely off of me... So, he did... And we sat there... In complete awkwardness silence... Then the bell rang and we went to class, while walking there I happened to see like five couples making out. No one yells at them... And he kissed me goodbye and I went to class, he did the same... And I realized I don't think I close my eyes when I kiss, because I'm to focused on trying not to mess it up... So I have to work on just trusting myself... But I think I will look retarded if I have my eyes closed, but it's not like I have my eyes wide open and we are looking at each other while we are kissing or anything like that... And so during 3rd period, we had a highlighting assignment and I asked this girl, Kris, to borrow her highlighter, and she gave it to me and I asked this guy John to give the marker back to Kris, but he gave it to Chris, a guy, and I was like "No, not THAT Chris." And Chris, thinking I wanted it threw it at me, without me seeing it, and it hit me in the face. It hurt. And so after 4th period, I was outside of the classroom talking to Tyler and I told him what happened. And he like caressed my face and was like "Aww..." and he's like CRACKING up about my pain! And saying "I'm sorry." but he's still laughing. And I put my hand on his arm that he has up, and I was like "No you're not! You're laughing!" And he just kept laughing and then kissed me... I swear it was the perfect moment... I wish THAT was the first time we kissed. But it wasn't, oh well. Then we talked some more than he kissed me goodbye.

=] He gives me a lot of kisses xD Which makes me happy, because they aren’t awkward anymore...

I'm just so happy right now... So everything you didn't want to hear, you read anyways... Well, who cares? It's my blog.

I Have A Boyfriend. And I Love It.

Tyler is just... Perfect... Today we went to Islands of Adventure... And found out how much of a dork I can actually get... He kissed me... I knew it was coming, so I guess I happy we got it over at somewhere that wasn't school. We were outside of this Dual Dragon ride and we got two rides in front of everyone we were with... So we were just waiting... And he was just being cute and holding my hands and such, then he kissed me.... And I knew it was horrible... And he even said "Well, that was awkward..." And I told him that I've only had two other kisses in my life, then he kind of understood... But then the rest of the day he kept kissing me... It was so weird...
You know how, if you're a girl, if you have never had a first kiss? You see in movies and shows how perfect kisses are? And it looks as if they are just melting into each other? Well, sorry to break the news to you, but thats not how it happens... It's awkward and all I have to say, is thank God I don't have braces, or he doesn't or we didn't hit teeth or something like really bad... But no. I was just a horrible kisser. And I know this for a fact, because the first thing he texted me after I dropped him off at his house was "You don't know how to kiss...." What a wonderful boyfriend, right? (Still can't get over the fact that I have a boyfriend...) Then guess what happened next. Yup. He said I just need to practice. Yey! Right? No! I'm freaking out! T_T
I don't know why I'm freaking out... I just am... -sigh- Like right now I'm not so uptight about it... But I still kind of am at the same time... There's nothing I can do to change it but wait...

My father. Oh. My. Freaking. God. I don't like him. Sorry, I just don't. He told my mother that he doesn't like me, should I show him something he doesn't have for me? Why waste my time? I'm not going to though.
So, everything my Father does, pisses me off. I swear. We get to the park and our tickets weren't working and so Tyler didn't know they weren't working so he was still trying to get it to work, when my dad started to walk away. And when we started to walk towards my dad he was like "You need to start paying attention!!!" And I said "We ARE paying attention, dad!" and he said "Then what are you doing?!?!?" and I said "Does it matter?!" and Tyler, being the little smart ass he is, said, "That conversation turned out just like I thought it would." and I was NOT it the mood so, I glared at him, told him to shut up and kept walking... Then he came up and hugged me and was like "Are you okay?" And I said "Yes... I'm fine.. I'm sorry I snapped at you..." and it was like he didn't even noticed that I had snapped at him... Which was kind of sad...But whatever. Then we got into the park and my dad had his arm around me and I was moving it and telling him to get off of me, and he kept putting it back, and so I actually moved away from him and told him to stop. And then LATER I asked Tyler what he thought of my dad, and Tyler was like "Well, at least he's trying..." meaning I don't try!!! HE doesn't try! The reason why I don't want him touching me is because all I can think about is him freaking molesting me! Which he does ever time he touches me!!! (Not like illigal molestation...) But I can't tell Tyler that. Because he doesn't know that all my father does at home is watch porn!
I'm sorry... If you could not have told by now, I am frustrated... With myself and my family... I don't know... I'm just mentally exhausted... Which I have been for the last couple of days..
I'm thinking of going to bed and it's only 9:30 p.m. yey...

Who Said Friday the 13th was Bad Luck?

Today was perfect. Tyler and I are officially a couple. It has been almost a year and 10 months since I have had a real boyfriend... Tyler is my boyfriend. = ]
Today and yesterday he was trying to kiss me and I have been dodging it... But we have been holding hands and he was kissing my cheek this morning... And it just seemed like a perfect day... What I love about this is he won't get mad at me, he can't yell at me, and he's my boyfriend!!! (Sorry, if you couldn't have already saw, I'm excited that I have a boyfriend..) But it's weird... I've been his friend for so long... And I've liked him for so long, I would have never actually thought we would end up together... Like everyone thinks that we would have, but I was the last to think it..
And that girl in my 3rd period, who told me Tyler and I would make a horrible couple, saw us together and I was just hugging him and she comes up and was like "PDA!!!" And I'm like "Wow... Mature, much?" But oh well... I have been trying not to talk to Henry at all... But I have to because of the poetry jam coming up... Tyler I don't think wants me talking to Henry at all... But he hasn't said so... So... I have been doing nothing wrong. I have not been leading him on in any shape or form. And so that makes me feel less horrible...
But today was perfect, with the exception of everyone talking about me and Tyler... Which makes us even more weird... >_<
But I think it's a good weird... =]

The Future... Is Kind of Scary...

Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps... What will happen during my senior year when I am by myself practically... Tyler won't be there, and I don't really like anyone in my grade that goes to my school... Henry kind of made me think of it, because I'm not thinking that me and Tyler are going to be together forever.. But I didn't remember that we would only have a year together.. We shouldn't have waited so long... That girl in my 3rd period was right... She told me that if I would have told him in the beginning of the year that I liked him, then we would have been dating sooner, but I don't think I would have wanted to dated him in the beginning of the year, because I don't think it's fair to date someone you like when you are in love with another person... Which would have been Bobbie... Maybe that's why I really don't want to date Henry, because I like Tyler so much more.
Today was pretty good. So was yesterday. But of course, everyone who is anyone could guess why... And that's because Tyler actually holds my hands in front of his friends and mine. Last year when Bobbie and I were about to go out again, we were holding hands, but then some of his friends came up and he'd stop... He let go and  I was crushed.... But Tyler's not being like that and I was completely expecting him to be worse than Bobbie. But he's not. =] What a glorious day!

For the first time, I love Wednesday

So… Monday was okay nothing really happened at school, but Tyler told me after school that Angela gave us ‘permission’ to repeat Friday. Which really confused me, because why would his EX-girlfriend, who broke up with HIM, need to give US permission to date? So I reply to that was “I’m not giving her permission to hang all around Bobbie!” Not meaning what it looks like… Because I know I’m over Bobbie, thanks to Tyler… And Tyler took it as if I still like Bobbie from that and was like “No wonder you have been distant lately. Make up your damn mind, I’m losing mine.” Which he has now told me three times… But after fighting over HER pretty much, he said “Well, let’s just forget that Friday even happened, would that be easier for you?” And I, being STUPID, said “It actually would…” And then he got mad at THAT. Because I gave up too easily, so we stopped talking pretty much.

 And I thought he would at least talk to me like he would on a normal day on Tuesday, but he didn’t… And he wore this plaid shirt that he asked me my opinion for during the break… And I was going to go up to him and say something about it, but my friend was at the tables Tuesday, and we were talking the entire time. But when I went to go and T.A. for his 7^th period, and he didn’t even look at me… And I tried not to look at him… It was as if we were never friends… And that wasn’t what I wanted… So after school I texted him and said “I didn’t want you to forget that we ever were friends…” That’s when he told me that Angela was giving more like an approval than permission… And as his ‘best friend’ not his ‘ex-girlfriend’… which is his fault for not explaining that to me, because he thought that was good news when he told me that she gave permission, I didn’t think so much of it… And he actually admitted that he liked me. Like before he wouldn’t say it but Tuesday he actually said it, and he’s said it a couple of times so far… Which makes me happy…

That leads us to Wednesday, which I guess I liked a lot more than I realized, because Tyler could even tell that I was happy to be next to him… In the morning I sat next to one of my friends and Tyler was away talking to some of the guys, so I was talking to this girl, Alex, and then Tyler came up and put his arm on my head, and I grabbed it and took it off… Then, with a guy sitting next to me on a two person seat, he sat next to me, and we were just messing around, and he was playing with something and I was like “Are you having fun?” And he said “No, but this occupies my hands.” And so I just stayed silent for a second and he said “Is there something else I could do?” And I was like “No…” But I know he was talking about holding hands… And for a moment he flipped over his hand and his ring, I guess I just saw things, look like it was open on one side, but the class ring is supposed to be closed, so I flipped over his hand to look at it (which he probably thought I was just going to put my hand in his after flipping it over, which I’ve only really made the first move with Bobbie…), but it was fully closed and he was confused because I put back his hand and he looked at me and he was just messing with me, and he hugged me a lot… But like a minute or two later after I looked at the ring, he put it on my lap, and I put it on, and he just was laughing, because I said I stole it and he was like “I saw”.  Then I found out he has a tan line from where his ring is…And he grabbed for the ring and I didn’t let him get it… I was planning on keeping it for the day, but then decided against it, and gave it back to him… My little freshman was like “Why’d you give it back??” But she didn’t know that he reached for it…

Thursday was a good day too, and I had a cute outfit on, heels with a skirt, because there was a yearbook meeting, and I thought I would have had to dress nice for it, but I didn’t have to. So I got to school a little earlier than normal and I sat down at our table because I had a good 5 minutes to spare and this guy comes up, he is a friend of mine who usually sits at that table, and we start talking then he warns me that Tyler was coming up behind me, and I don’t even know what he did… But he did something to try to scare me. And then I told him I had to leave early, right after I ask Alex for her lotion. And he looked sad and asked why and I told him, so before Alex came he was hugging me and such… Then I found out that Alex didn’t have any lotion, which saddened me. So I left to go upstairs for the meeting. My shoe broke as I got up… It sucked so I glued it back together, which held it for the most part. So, I saw Tyler before 5^th period and he was like “How was the yearbook meeting?” and I said boring, then I said that I found out if I sell $400 worth of ads (which I have to do for a grade anyways) I get a free yearbook! How wonderful, right?? And he was pretending to me excited for me and was like “That’s awesome!” and I glared at him. And then he was like “Well, that’s going to be hard for you.” And I’m like “What’s that supposed to mean??” And so he insulted me, and then made me hug him, and I hugged him so tight I cracked his neck, but then he said it felt good, but I still feel bad about it. But he actually walked me to my class, which he hasn’t done in a while… And then waited outside, which I did not expect, but we didn’t talk much then… But then I went into T.A. for 7^th period, and my friend, Lane, wasn’t there (Tyler doesn’t like Lane because I talk to Lane in that class more than I talk to Tyler.) And so I was just sitting up front and Tyler comes up after this freshman comes up and talks to me. And he was just like “You look bored.” And I said “I am! Lane isn’t here!” And he was like “Oh darn…” And then he picked up a paperclip and I looked at him weirdly and was like, “What are you doing?” and he said he was planning to bomb the school or something and then we start to talk about other things, and we were actually kind of holding hands even when the freshman came back and started to talk to me. When she left he threw the paperclip down my shirt! Which was tucked into my skirt. And I’m like “TYLER!!!!” And he’s cracking up and I’m like freaking out on how to get this thing out of my bra without looking weird. So I got up from my seat and made it fall out from my skirt. After it fell out I picked it up and threw it away, and he was like “Yeah, throw it away!” and I’m like whatever, and I pretending to be all mad at him, and he’s like “I’m sorry do you want a hug?” and I look at him and I’m like “No!” and I turned to face away from him and he hugged me anyways and there was these two girls who turned around and just started to stare at us. And I turn to face him again, and he’s still cracking up. And then he was like “Are you sure you don’t want a hug?” And I’m like “Yes, I’m sure.” And he holds out his arms and I shake my head and he puts my hands over his shoulders, like he normally does when I refuse to hug him, and then he went in for a hug, and I put done my hands so he couldn’t hug me. It was so funny! And so was his face he was like “You’re so mean!” and I’m like “You’re one to talk.” And we just kept talking and he has this thing with trying to mess with me so he grabs my nose… And it’s the weirdest thing… So I bother him by poking him, because he jumps every single time. And I would like turn away from him when he would go for my nose, or I would grab his hand, and then we would just end up holding hands, because he wouldn’t let go...

Friday! Friday morning Tyler came up and was talking to me, and he asked for a hug, and I said no, and he was like “Why not?” and I told him I was still made at him about the paperclip and he just started to crack up again… He was so proud of that stupid thing… And he was like “You know that was hilarious.” And I was like “No it wasn’t!!!” And he was just laughing, then he gave me a hug and I hugged him back and he was like “I thought you weren’t going to give me a hug…” and I was just laughing and said “Shut up…” and he laughed… And then his APUSH exam was Friday, so he was like “Well, I don’t know if I should go to so-and-so’s room to study…” and I didn’t say anything, because I had to go and meet Henry to give him money for this poetry jam, for my friends’ ticket. And he got mad and was like “Ugh, you don’t even care.” So when he grabbed his jacket to leave I grabbed my bag and went to where Henry said he hangs out in the morning, but he wasn’t there, so I went to my locker instead, then went back downstairs to talk to Alex. Tyler came BACK. While I was talking to Alex about her boy problems, and Tyler just stood there next to me and listened to her, when I was trying to get away so we could talk, Tyler and I. But she would not stop talking, and I don’t know what to tell her, I doubt he really wants to date her if he wasn’t gone for her yet. But whatever. So last night we were talking, Tyler and I, and we got on the conversation that I don’t care about something, and then we got to the point that we dropped it. Then I asked how he thing he did on his exam, and he said his teachers stupid, and I said I know that’s what you think, but teaching yourself enough to pass the test? And he thinks so, so I said congrats and then he was like “Sure…” And I said “Ugh… Why not?” and he said ”Because you don’t really care, provided you don’t already hope I fail.” And I said “Why would I want you to fail?? I wouldn’t waste a hope on that!” then he came back with “Because you hate me.” And all I could think was “really? This again???” but I said “Yes. I hate you, Tyler.” Then he said “Hah! I knew it.” And I was just like “Mhm.” Then he said I was mean! And I’m thinking “WHAT? You are calling ME mean? When you always think I hate you???”  but I said “Yep. I’m just such a horrible person.” Then he said “Why are you so mean to me?” and I said “I thought it was obvious. I hate you, remember?” then he was like “Why do I hang out with you?!?!” and I said “I have no idea, because you hate me too.” And then he said that I knew that wasn’t true. And I said the same thing back at him. Then he was like “I can never tell what you’re feeling.” And I didn’t really know how to respond so I said “Of course you wouldn’t…” then he said “Hey, you suppress your emotions and very little leaks through your face… Except for that one time…” and I asked what one time..? and he said “That time earlier this week… We sat next to each other on the lunchroom patio… I’ve never seen you smile so much before…” and I think he was talking about Wednesday… Because that was the only day I was like super happy about him… And then I got all quiet then he asked why a million times, and I didn’t tell him what I was thinking so he got mad and said good night. Yey! More Tyler fights... =[

Perfect

That was today. Perfect. And Tyler made it perfect. =]

So The Fight is Over

Okay so Tyler and I talked about it. I guess it's not because of Angela being his ex giving him permission to date me, but more like his 'best friend' saying it's okay to date me... And I thought I messed everything up, because last I told Tyler if he's going to be an ass then I don't want Friday to happen again. But we finally talked about it after school. And I told him why I was distant for the past month, which he thought it was because of Bobbie. (Which I can absolutly say that Bobbie is nothing to me anymore.) So, I think he's now relieved to know that it was what he said (which was that I shouldn't annoy him) he said he was joking... I don't know when to keep him seriously and not.

She wants me to play nice

Right now my head is about to explode. Angela, I guess, has given me 'permission' to date Tyler. Really? PERMISSION?! Really? Does that mean I have to give her permission to date Bobbie. Right now, I'll 'play nice'. Yey. More joyous fakeness in my life.

First Day of May and 2 has become 3...

So, yesterday I went to a Birthday Party... I shouldn't have gone... Because Bobbie was there... And so was Angela... And that just reminded me of how the day before, I was with Tyler... And he was holding MY hand... But I don't even know anymore... But Bobbie and I talked, I of course make fun of him all the time, because what else am I supposed to do? And he was like "Your insults have a lot to do with nerds, do you have a problem with them?" and right before that we were getting ready to leave, and he changed back into his jeans (he was in his trunks before) and he forgot his shirt outside, and I walked in side as he was walking out of the bathroom, with no shirt on, and his backpack on. (At least Bobbie doesn't have a good tummy, because I might had died if he did...) and it just looked like some person who do to look cool so I was joking and I said "Oh, you look cool." and he glared at me, then told me to be quiet... Of course he was joking... And then when we got outside Angela actually said something about it too and he was like "I was just in my trunks without a shirt, why is it a problem now??" It was funny...But back to him saying I have a problem with nerds I said "The shirt comment had nothing to do with nerds." then this was like really random he said "Well, are you angry with me?" And I was like so confused. Plus not paying much attention, because I was texting Henry. And I looked at him and tilted my head a bit and said "Why would I be angry with you? What could have you done to upset me?" And he just shrugged... And you know how before I would have ignored Bobbie normally, so I don't have crazy thoughts or see his him if I was thinking about him? Well, now that I am thinking about him I can see him perfectly clear... Which is not a good thing, and like I said before, I have a soft spot for him... This is bad...

And yesterday I was texting Tyler... And I said something, and he was kind of getting on my nerves anyways, and he said "Just be quiet." and I said "Ok. Bye." Because I wasn't going to take it from him yesterday. Just really not in the mood, well I would have been in the mood before he tried to talk to me, because all I can think about is how our date went... And I just don't know... And when I said bye he said "... Bye..." I think he knows he messed up, but he never texted back after that... So, he must have not really wanted to talk to me anyways... So, whatever...