It is the end...

I am sorry to say that this will be my last post on this blog. I will have two more blogs coming up. One will be about my next two summers, and the other will be about me being an upper classmen. Because guess what? I am offically an 11th grader!! I'm so happy! My exams went fine, my goodbyes took a little while than I thought they would but it was all good.

Now to the juicy stuff, right? You (probably don't) want to know about Tyler coming over for dinner last night, right?
Well, he came around four. And I had made brownies, and gotten his root beer (Tyler is all about his root beer...) and he left at 9:15. Very depressing...
When he came over we pretty much just sat down on the couch, while we talked and stuff... Couldn't do much of anything with three kids running around.. He was getting frustrated over that, but he knew what he was walking into when he came. We had taco's. I had gotten a little frustrated at my mom for a mishap with good cheese... Kind of embarrassing... But I'm not sure if he knew about it... But after dinner we were sitting on the couch, and we had time to breathe, because one little one was with my mom and the other two were with my sister, so we decided to kiss, not that much... Next thing I know, Nick, the youngest, is walking in saying he has to separate us. Then I hear my mom talking to Jarred, the oldest, saying "You can go separate them, too!" I was not happy... Then they started writing notes with our initials in a heart with forever underneath it... Yey... That's not embarrassing... But Tyler didn't see those... Then Nick started to sing "Tyler and (my name) sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." And I'm just like "Oh dear God... Please stop this..." But when Tyler left, everyone said he was a nice kid, and he played with the kids just fine. He behaved for the most part...
But yesterday was just overall a very good day. Today has been kind of dry... And because it is summer, I should post about today, but I will, because there's not that much. We just went to Judy Moody, and it's my moms birthday. Woo.

When It's Broke It's Perfect

So. I miscalculated this last three post = 50... Because I will have to have 51 post, because tomorrow is my last day of school and I don't want to talk about school on my summer blog... I'm so excited. Even though Tyler won't pick anything to eat! I don't know what we will have... My mom will think of something. He can be so difficult... Yesterday I was asking him to pick something and he said pizza. Then said he didn't care, that I should pick something so I was being a smart ass and asked him how he felt about Liver and Onions. And he said ewe at first, then I was like "then pick something!!" and then he was like "Okay, that's fine." and I was like "I don't like it!!" Then he got mad at me for not actually picking something. And we were suppose to have chicken and some stuff yesterday, but we had pizza instead, so I wonder if we could have that tomorrow... But we might have it tonight! All I can really think of other than that is fish, but we'd have to get a lot of fish... I don't know. I'm kind of nervous about it... I don't know how the kids will react to Tyler, he says he'll be good, and I know he will, but I just can't help thinking that something bad will happen tomorrow...
But what will be cool, is that what ever happens tomorrow night will be the start of my new blog!!! I'm so happy! I will be a Jr. tomorrow at 11:43 a.m. I'm so excited... And Tyler today actually talked about Homecoming... He didn't even go this year! But I think he will, because of me. Which makes me super happy, because then I won't be the loser without a date anymore!
The perks of having a boyfriend... It's just still really weird how we are together... Just about a month.. <3 Ain't it wonderful???

Today was just kind of whatever. I had my TA exam, took me like 20 minutes to do, then we had to wait until everyone was done, then I went to Tyler's class, the teacher only had a few things for me to do and I did them semi fast. Then Tyler walked me to 4th period... But he hasn't texted me back yet... And I texted him over an hour ago... And he came home at 9:45... Doesn't mean anything, right? I'm just worrying about nothing, I hope...

Actual Excitement???

So, right now I am listening to All Time Low. Best. Band. Ever.
I'm like so freaking happy right now. I just went on Facebook and saw the they posted something about being able to get their new CD on ITunes... I don't have an IPod... So I went on Walmart.com, and found out the release date is today!!!! And so I ran to my sister and asked if she would take me to Wally World. And she said I should just wait until Mother came home... And I was worried that they would be sold out, but my sister still did not want to take me... So, I called my mother, who said that she had to make dinner (which is probably what I will be doing...) so I went back to my sister, who was in a huge mood. But she finally gave in. So, I went into Wally World all excited and happy. And I'm looking at all of the albums... No All Time Low... I asked someone if the release date was today, would the CD be out. They went to the 'New Releases' place, which I did not see, and asked for the name and band, and I told her, and she went to the back. And five minutes she came back out with a brand new CD in her hand saying that I was in luck!!!! I was so happy I swiped my credit card and ran out of Wally World, and then jumped into my sisters car, who was STILL in a horrid mood. And I asked if I could listen to it... She said no... I got depressed, but it is blasting on my radio right now, so I'm happy. And my sister is letting me use her IPod tomorrow, so I will listen to it tomorrow during school!!! =]

Okay, so I thought I wouldn't have anything to post about, but look above ^ so awesome topic. Ha.
So, I went to school, and I got there a little early, so I put down my bag, and went over to the table that Tyler sometimes hangs out with, before I get there, and I sat next to him, and he hugged me and we stayed there the whole morning, and my friend was actually at the other tables, but I didn't go over there, and I'm  kind of happy I didn't because, even though I don't understand his computer talk, I am able to talk to Tyler and be there next to him... It's been almost a month. =] And Angela didn't come and bother us, she was walking past us, he didn't see her, but I did... But she went over to the tables we normally go to... I wonder if she knew we were there...
I'm so happy about us... And I now don't get all worried or worked up about Angela, she's nothing. Plus, two more days of school, then I won't have to deal with her. For two months!!! I'm like so excited about summer, it's actually going to be fun.

So, today I took my Chemistry exam and Journalism exam. Chem was actually very difficult... And Journalism was 50 easy questions... So, tomorrow will be T.A. and English... Tyler will leave early tomorrow, which is kind of a good thing, because after my T.A. exam, I'll go to Tyler's class for the teacher, and he'll walk me to class, and stay with me, hopefully. He probably will... But whatever. I'm just so excited.

Summer is almost here. And I hope Tyler and I hang out after school tomorrow... Crud... Now that I think of it... Angela has 4th period lunch... That means she won't have to go to a class... I don't think she would ask him for a ride home... Right? Ugh... Okay, maybe I am still worrying about her...

Three More Days...

I have three more days of school. And hopefully three more post coming up. I want to land on even '50' post. Don't try to go count, because right now if I look at my home page for blogger it says: "47 post" and I'm like "SOOO CLOSE!!" So, I have purposely not blogging for the past few days, so I can share my last few days of 10th grade year with you. I know, most of you are out of school. And I envy you for that... But I am in school still. It sucks.
Today was the first day of exams. I had my Latin II exam... I pretty much bombed that exam... But today was the last day I will EVER have to deal with Latin!!! I'm so freaking happy!
There's not much I can really talk about... Nothing really happened today...
This weekend I was planning on going rolling skating with Tyler... So, the plan was I was going to go to the beach and then go skating with him when I got home on Saturday... Friday he asked if, after skating, I wanted to go see Pirate of the Caribbean, with his family. And I told him that normally, skating goes a bit late, like opens at 7... And then he was like "Then maybe before skating?" But then I looked up the times for skating, its only open 12-3:30 on Saturdays anyways! Ugh. So, we just went to the movies... Found out how to make out and still watch the movie... So, that was Saturday.
Okay, so there is my moms high school best friend, Scottie B, is staying at our house for the week, and Scottie B is just acting silly, like he's my dad, and talking about Tyler, and asking about him and such. So, I suggested that Tyler should come over for dinner. Tyler actually wants to come over to my house, so he was all over it, and once I told Scottie B about it, he was all over it too.
So, Tyler will meet my moms crazy friends... I really hope this goes well....

Do Voodoo Dolls Work?

So, I sucked it up...
Even though the time I have had with Tyler for the past few weeks, without Angela, was very nice... I finally figured out, blowing up and letting myself get worked up, will not get rid of her. My friend in Chemistry told me I do need to talk about it with him... But there's not much to talk about, right now.. Yesterday morning, I was just sitting at the table with Tyler and a few other guys, of course Tyler and I were kissing and being all couplely... Then I turn around and face the court yard and then I see the worst possible thing that could happen in the morning:
ANGELA heading toward our tables.
I know what you're thinking: "So?"
But trust me it's SO much more than a "So?" It's her butting in on our time. I mean like what the crud? Who does that??? Like I understand when she wants him before and after 1st period, or after 5th period (sometimes...), or even after 6th period. But NOT the times, for example in the mornings, when that had always been the time he would spend with me, not her.
And when she was coming up, I saw her first, and let go of his hand and he was like "Why is she here so early??" and I'm thinking: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because she hates us being together?!?"
She comes up all smiling and shit. (Excuse my language.) I just hate that fake smile of hers... And so he stands up, goes over to where she was for a second, came back over to me, but there was no use in sitting by each other if we aren't able to do anything 'couplely' so we both got up and I went over to my Freshmen, and he went back over to her... And he came over and hugged me, and I looked over at her and she was preoccupied with other guys talking to her, so I went in to kiss Tyler real quick, and he was about to, but then he stopped, looked over at her, then kissed me. And then soon after that he went back over to her.
The ONE good thing about her coming in the morning is Tyler walked me to class, instead of her, which made me like super happy. And then after 1st period she never really came up to us so we actually had time to ourselves, which was a nice change... We talked for most of the time after 5th, and she wasn't anywhere. And after 6th he walked me to class, but then after he had gotten upstairs, he found where she was, so he had to go downstairs for her, he was probably late... But then the sucky thing is: her 7th period is in the same hall as my 8th period, so he was walking down the stairs (going down a different staircase than we normally do.) and like at the last step, he tried to kiss me and I didn't kiss him, and then we got off the stairs and there she was. I was so pissed... But he didn't even stay with her for like 5 minutes. Then I got out of class for the first like 10 minutes of 8th period and went to his hall, because I had to turn in my track uniform, and he waited for me and kissed me then, but only because Jr.'s were having an assembly.

So, onto today...
This morning I got to school a little later than usually. And my friend was there, today being Thursday and all, and so I go and poke Tyler, because he was sitting down and looking the opposite direction, and then hugged my friend, then started to talk to her and this kid and said I had to go to my teachers classroom. and Tyler gets up and hugs me from behind and was like "Where were you?" and I look at him along with the people that I was with. And I was like "What do you mean?" and he was like "Where did you go?" and the kid there was like "She just got here?" then I told Tyler that I would be right back, and he was like "Okay, let's go." And my friend had already said that she would go with me. So like we start walking, which at that point, I wish that it was just Tyler and I going, because she was just looking at me like "Why is he here??" and I'm just thinking that it's whatever if he's there, he's my boyfriend, he can be there. And we get up there then when we were about to go back downstairs, and then he stop in front of me and I was in the middle of talking to my friend, and so I didn't kiss him when he went in for a kiss. And he was like "What?" and I said nothing and held his hand, then we went down the stairs, and he went went the other way... So, he had gotten mad at me, because I didn't kiss him... The reason why I didn't kiss him is because my friend is a major Jesus freak. And PDA is a sin in her eyes, plus I was in the middle of talking to her. He went to a different table... And then guess who showed up a little later? Angela. Yey.  I was just so happy to see her. Just standing there, he wasn't even really talking to her, but she was just standing there right next to him. And then he came back to where we were and got his stuff, and he was going back to the other table, and I gave him a quick kiss, and he went back to her... But then after the bell rang, he came back and walked me to class. So, it turned out all okay... Then he didn't walk with her after 5th at all, and then after 6th he was mostly with me, until like a second before the bell rang then he went to her... Then after 1st, it sucked because she came up the stairs, that was like closest to us, so I only got to see him for like 3 seconds. But after 7th he normally walks with her, and we were going down the stairs holding hands and such and there she was, so I let go, then we went down the stairs, and we kissed, but then she was gone, or he saw her and didn't go to her... So, I had him to myself during that break, which made me happy. =]

Oh. And about the title... I went to the mall with Tyler and went to Hot Topic, and they had Voodoo dolls, so I bought one, I wonder who I should test it on...

OH. And by the way: Angela told Henry about me and Tyler. Not that it really matters, but she was expecting him to talk shit about me, but he didn't. He said the normal "When it's over I'll be here." Yada yada yada. Doesn't matter, I won't be wanting him to wait for me. I'm happy that he's not mad at me... But I just wanted to tell you that. See? I know that her smile is fake because of that. I'm so happy Hnery told me...

She's Winning...

So still can't do anything in front of her... Which is so stupid...
So many things people have told me:

1: This is like the dumbest thing I have EVER heard!
2: Dump him, then he'll realize that he messed up then come back to you.
3: Talk to him.
4: Talk to her.
5: Just go up to him, make out with him and flick her off while you are doing it. You will be physically flicking her off and mentally flicking her off at the same time!!

I think I like #5 the best xDD

But with #1, that is what I'M thinking! Who seriously makes rules for someone else's boyfriend??? I mean it's MY boyfriend, and I don't even have rules for him!

With #2... Don't you think THAT is dumb?? Because Tyler isn't going to think to try to win me back, he'll just think that he lost me... And I don't even want to think what would happen  between him and her after that...

With #3... He wouldn't listen... And even if he did... I'm afraid that he'll take HER side... I know that is really horrible to think about... And it is very horrible... And shouldn't he ASK how I feel about this?? Or KNOW how I would feel about this???

With #4... There's a few things I would like to yell at her... But then she would just either play this innocent look or just go crying to Tyler... Then Tyler would be upset with me... Plus then he would have to comfort her.... Which would suck majorly...

With #5... Like I said before, LOVE this idea... But I stay away from both of them together and she stays away from us when we're together. Which I like to do... And I doubt if I tried to even go in for a kiss with him he wouldn't kiss back... So it would just be embarrassing for me.



But she's getting what she wants. She tearing me from him practically, because he has to 'split our time together.' Which is stupid... But I just have to deal with it for another week.. Then it's exams, then it's all over. And he's mine for the summer. At least we won't have to worry about any 'rules' then...

8 more days... That's all it takes for freedom... With my boyfriend... Weird much?

Really...?

So, guess what? Angela's back home! YEY! She was in Italy for like 2 and 1/2 weeks.
Guess what? She was NOT missed by me.
Guess what? So, this morning we are going to my class, and Tyler was like "Oh, could we lay off the couple stuff when Angela is around?" And I'm like "Okay, sure. Whatever." because I seriously didn't care. I was thinking I wouldn't be around them either way, so no big deal. And then I was thinking... Then I asked.. "But she knows... Right?" And good old Tyler says "... No.... I have to work on that..." And I'm thinking "It doesn't matter, because I haven't told Henry, so I'm just as guilty, so I didn't make a big deal out of it. Plus it's not that big of a deal..." And then after 5th period, Tyler was talking and said "So, I told Angela about us..." And I was like, "Okay? What she say?" And then he was like "Well, nothing yet, she hasn't texted back..." And I was like "Really?" and he didn't understand why I would think that would be bad. Then I then found out after 6th period that she wanted Tyler back... What the heck?!?! SHE dumped HIM because she's a freaking Mormon! Mormons can't date NON-Mormans. Tyler's a BAPTIST. Which is NOT  a Mormon. And after dating him for a year, said she didn't want to hide it anymore, so they were over. Who does that?!?! Who dates someone for a YEAR then decides: Oh, yea, I can't lie to my parents anymore. It's already been a year, if you like him, either fight for him, or keep dating him, it's been working out so far.
But then again, I can't really complain about her dumping him, because if she hadn't then we wouldn't really be...
Now, all I know, is that we can't do anything couply around her... But I didn't want to either way... But the thing is... This means she doesn't approve of us dating... But we're still dating... So, is this good?
And I talked to Tyler about Angela.. And if he likes her still. Well, I actually asked it he was truly over her... And he made this face, which really did make me believe him more... And he was like "Yea, I had to get over her. That's why she broke up with me when she did..."
So, he told me he was over her. And then he practically just turned down Angela for me... That's a good thing right? Why am I even questioning it.. Of course it is... So, she's just really upsetting me.. I mean, who does that? Really?

Guy: Hey, me and this girl are dating.
Girl: But I want you back!
Guy: But you broke up with me like forever ago...?
Girl: But this trip to Italy has made me recognize how much I truly love you and want you back!
-----------
Me: Are you kidding me?

I Was Fine... Until Last Night...

So, yesterday a lot happened... In the morning Tyler and I were just sitting like normal... And we started to make out. It was fine whatever. We continued to do that throughout the day. Then during 7th period, AP sciences were having a field day, so we were out on the football field then, and Tyler and I were just sitting beside the wall, just talking, holding hands, etc. Then these girls come out with this bucket, and drop the bucket, which was filled with water balloons, and it was so hot outside, when the waterballons touched the ground, they were popping because of the heat. And Tyler got a hold of two, and was about to throw one, but then I guess he decided against it and it popped right in front of us, then he threw one at someone and then they threw one at the wall we were sitting on, and my back got a little wet, and like my hair got wet a little. (Yey! Messed up hair!) Then my friend came up, and I had to move away from the wall, because the water was getting my butt wet and it wasn't feeling good. Then my friend came up and was like "Hey did you get wet from the water balloon?" and I was like "Well, not that much.." and then she threw one at my head! My whole head was soaked. And the bottom of the shirt was wet, which then became see through. Yey! So I went into the bathroom fixed my eyeliner, (Yea... I'm such a girl...) and then combed through my wet hair. Couldn't really do anything about my shirt... At least it was only my tummy showing. Then Tyler and I were just standing up and talking and he hugged me and was like "Your hair feels cold." and I was like "Well, that may be because its wet?" and he was like "I know, but it feels good." I just rolled my eyes and then we kept talking and we were holding hands and this girl came up and was like "Are you guys dating??" and I was like 'Why would you even ask that?' and Tyler was goofing off and was like "Noo..." then he put my hand behind his back, but the thing is, if he didn't want people to know that we were dating he would have let go, so that means he doesn't care. But I don't think it would have mattered, he's more of a PDA guy than I thought he would be... But that’s technically not a bad thing... Bobbie was more like a behind closed doors person.

Before now, I had been thinking that I shouldn't invite Tyler to the bowling alley, which I was planning on going to for a few days, then going to the mall with Tyler today, but then my mom was saying how we were going to go to Busch Gardens today, which we couldn't have done, because I had plans with my friend to get together to do our science project (Hints the reason why I am typing this this morning.). So, I thought I was going to have my friend come over right after school tomorrow, and then we could get it over with. And she thought the same thing but she didn't come over, but whatever. So I asked the person who put the bowling thing into action, if Tyler could come, and Tyler became my ride, and when we were driving and then I don't even know what I said, but I said something then he was like "Maybe a college in New York isn't that bad sounding..." Which is a really touchy subject for me... He doesn't know that, but I really don't want him to move away... But I don't want to hold him back either... This school in New York is like perfect for him... But I'm being selfish and I don't want him to leave me here... So I got all quiet... And he was like "I was joking.." and I'm like "No you're not!" and then when we parked he tried to kiss me but I looked away and he was just looking at me with his sad eyes saying sorry... And I just got out of the car, then when I walked over to him I kissed him and he was like "I'm sorry..." and I was like "I know...” And then we walked up there...

However, on the Facebook message she put "8-10" and so Tyler and I, after being lost for most of the time, got there two minutes early. Then I texted her and was like "You here?" and she replied "At 9?" So I was with Tyler for an hour alone. In his car... We first ended up on the benches outside. But he was wearing a 'nice' shirt so we went to sit inside his car and listened to his weird music that was on his IPod for 45 minutes. And we would just be kissing, he put one weird song and we started to kiss, and he was like "Wow, never thought I would kiss a girl while listening to that song..." It was actually kind of funny.

Whenever the girl that invited me Got there, I saw their minivan, and her mother thinks I'm a whore, because Bobbies ex-girlfriend, the one before me, was my best friend, so I went out with Bobbie after her, so the parents just hate me for it. And Tyler knows all of this and her mom just dropped them off, and we were walking up there, and she was turning around and I was holding his hand and he let go and was like "Do you think it's a good idea with her seeing us together?" and I was like "What does it matter? She already thinks I'm a whore, can't get any worse." But she smiled and waved when I did. So we walk in there and only like 5 other people were there, 10 others were supposed to come. And they had a 35 minute wait for lanes, Bobbie was planning on going I guess, I really didn't expect him to come, because it was an invite through Facebook and he never goes on... But whatever... So he was there we were starting to bowl, I got on Tyler’s team of course, and I joked around with Bobbie a little bit, because he wasn’t the best at bowling, but of course better than me,  but I got second in both rounds, and better than Tyler on both of them. LOL. And I told him that I suck at bowling, which isn't false, because I am not any good. But Tyler would randomly kiss me, and Tori,(The girl who invited me) asked me to come over and I did and she was like "When did that happen?" And I guess it happened during Spring Break... But I just told her last week, because that when everything wasn't so complex... And she was like "So, it's not complicated anymore?" and I was like "No. Not anymore." and she was like "What made it uncomplicated?" and I just said he fixed everything, because none of it was on me... It was all him... And then she was like "So, he doesn't like Angela anymore?" and I said no... But I completely hesitated. She saw it too, I didn't even think that he would still like her... And like I said before, I would never think he would cheat on me, but I still don't want to be second... And after that I was kind of a bummer and I went to sit back down with him, and he was like "What’s wrong?" and I was just thinking about her... And I was like "Nothing..." and he said "Well, you were just all happy but now you look sad." and then he kissed my cheek and asked if I was sure if I was okay.. And I was like "Yeah, I'm sure." And then moved on, then I guess at one point, I got really close to him and we were kissing and my sister just had walked in. It was kind of scary, but she didn't know we were kissing. But still, I was like "How long have you been here??" and she said she had only just gotten there, but then later told me she saw that... How awkward, right?? And they went and rolled around, then was just sat there, I'm not sure if they were just standing there or what not, it was just really creepy, and when the game ended, I switched shoes, and then told Tyler to come over to where I was, because my sister was at the front and could see us from where we were to begin with and we just started kissing, and I was pulling away giving him the hint to stop, and he wasn't it was funny, because he was tilting, and then when we stopped he was like "Wait, why were we just kissing? I'm confused..." And I said "Because my mom is out there and I'm not going to kiss you out there."

It's always better when it's just us, and we aren’t fighting and we are just talking about anything.

I think my friend, Chad has replaced me as a friend, because he doesn't like Tyler, and his mom doesn't like how Tyler drove me there. And such, but whatever. It doesn't matter what they think about how we turned out to be. I love how yesterday turned out to be. It was really just perfect..

What was really weird though is when we got there, there was a girl in Tyler's 7th period who was there, then my 8th period freshmen was there for her birthday. And it was in the beginning when I was holding hands with Tyler and I was about to kiss him and I don't know how, but I saw one of her friends and then I moved around Tyler and saw my freshmen. And we both looked at each other like "Why are you here??" And I went over and was like "Happy Birthday!!!" Because that’s why she was there, I knew that and she was like "Why are you here?" and I was like "Just hanging out with some friends..." And it was just so awkward. So I went back over to Tyler.

But overall, thinking about how awesome yesterday went, I think it was perfect, if only Tori didn't open her stupid mouth...

I Got Here By Running My Mouth.

So, right now I feel like I should really write... But I don't know what to talk about...

Like you really want to hear about how kissing Tyler is totally less awkward now. Or how we got yelled at for PDA this morning... Or how our 7th period, will not stop talking about how Tyler and I are together... But then again, everyone saw it coming. I would put how my week has been going by, which I might just do, but it's only Wednesday... But it seems like a lot has happened...

Monday I was just way too scared to kiss Tyler and after 4th period he walked me to class and right before going inside the class, and we were holding hands and like inched away from him, and he like, pulled me in for a kiss, and it was fine. So not as weird as it should have been. I got my tickets from Henry... But I avoided meeting him when I had time that I would spend with Tyler... I have to tell Henry soon about Tyler, but I don't want to hurt his feelings...

Tuesday I see him after 4th period, and he comes out of his classroom, because he told me to wait for him. Then when he came out he kissed me right when he saw me. I was just really shocked... And then I kissed him goodbye a little later, then he came up and walked upstairs with me after 5th and my friend, Jenni, wasn't there, and I really didn't want to leave to go to where I knew she was... Plus she was in a mood. So, I just stood there with Tyler, and then when he had to go I kissed him goodbye, and started walking toward Jenni. She had listened to the full preview for All Time Low. So, she was like super happy... And I saw Tyler after 7th and had a bad kiss goodbye... Just really weird... And during 3rd period, I had this girl that I don't like talking to me, telling me I hug Tyler way too long, apparently she hasn't seen us kissing, which is a good thing. But then she was like "So, how does Henry feel about this?" And I got like really quiet and now I feel like a slut for not telling Henry... But how am I supposed to tell him?? I need help on that, so if anyone wants to offer advice, I'm all ears... And I went to Japanese Steak House at the mall with some people, and walked around the mall afterwards, I'm hopefully going to the mall with Tyler this weekend.. Angela's in Italy and she posted on Tyler’s wall that she missed him... Ugh... But it doesn't really matter, right? Tyler's mine and he would never cheat on me... I hope... And also we were texting after school, and I said something about how my dad will not allow me to have a tattoo. And he was like "You're not seriously thinking of getting one right?" and I was like "Why not, and I also want a belly ring, but I have to wait until I'm 18 to get both of them, so whatever." and his response was: "... If you get either one of those, I will break up with you... Just fair warning..." I'm thinking: 'Wow... Really?' And I turn 18 during my senior year, his freshmen year of college. So I said "Well, you'll be off to college anyways, so it won't matter...” and he said "So you intend to ditch me after I leave for college? Nice to know." and I said "No. I'm thinking the other way around." And he said no. Then I found out that all of his 3 relationships, he was dumped. Great... And he didn't know that I have had relationships between him and Bobbie, until I told him. I'm not like a complete loser... They just never were really serious...  Like I hope this one turns out to be... And it's not like I hope our relationship doesn't just last 6 months, but I'm not putting all of my hopes into it lasting so long.. But who knows, maybe it will... Maybe it's really just meant to be. Maybe he will choose not to go to that stupid college in New York and stay down here for me... Maybe we will end up dating for more than a year... Maybe. But maybe not.

Today, as of it being Wednesday. was pretty good... I came up to Tyler and hugged him in the morning, and he had turned around and kissed me... And then we sat down, and he had his arm around my waist and we were holding hands, then I turned around to talk to this kid, and Tyler had his head on my  shoulder, his face to mine... It's really not as awkward as it sounds... And this lady yelled at us for PDA. Really? It's not even like we were kissing... And I saw that she was yelling at us so I kind of moved away from him, and then she was telling him to take his arm completely off of me... So, he did... And we sat there... In complete awkwardness silence... Then the bell rang and we went to class, while walking there I happened to see like five couples making out. No one yells at them... And he kissed me goodbye and I went to class, he did the same... And I realized I don't think I close my eyes when I kiss, because I'm to focused on trying not to mess it up... So I have to work on just trusting myself... But I think I will look retarded if I have my eyes closed, but it's not like I have my eyes wide open and we are looking at each other while we are kissing or anything like that... And so during 3rd period, we had a highlighting assignment and I asked this girl, Kris, to borrow her highlighter, and she gave it to me and I asked this guy John to give the marker back to Kris, but he gave it to Chris, a guy, and I was like "No, not THAT Chris." And Chris, thinking I wanted it threw it at me, without me seeing it, and it hit me in the face. It hurt. And so after 4th period, I was outside of the classroom talking to Tyler and I told him what happened. And he like caressed my face and was like "Aww..." and he's like CRACKING up about my pain! And saying "I'm sorry." but he's still laughing. And I put my hand on his arm that he has up, and I was like "No you're not! You're laughing!" And he just kept laughing and then kissed me... I swear it was the perfect moment... I wish THAT was the first time we kissed. But it wasn't, oh well. Then we talked some more than he kissed me goodbye.

=] He gives me a lot of kisses xD Which makes me happy, because they aren’t awkward anymore...

I'm just so happy right now... So everything you didn't want to hear, you read anyways... Well, who cares? It's my blog.

I Have A Boyfriend. And I Love It.

Tyler is just... Perfect... Today we went to Islands of Adventure... And found out how much of a dork I can actually get... He kissed me... I knew it was coming, so I guess I happy we got it over at somewhere that wasn't school. We were outside of this Dual Dragon ride and we got two rides in front of everyone we were with... So we were just waiting... And he was just being cute and holding my hands and such, then he kissed me.... And I knew it was horrible... And he even said "Well, that was awkward..." And I told him that I've only had two other kisses in my life, then he kind of understood... But then the rest of the day he kept kissing me... It was so weird...
You know how, if you're a girl, if you have never had a first kiss? You see in movies and shows how perfect kisses are? And it looks as if they are just melting into each other? Well, sorry to break the news to you, but thats not how it happens... It's awkward and all I have to say, is thank God I don't have braces, or he doesn't or we didn't hit teeth or something like really bad... But no. I was just a horrible kisser. And I know this for a fact, because the first thing he texted me after I dropped him off at his house was "You don't know how to kiss...." What a wonderful boyfriend, right? (Still can't get over the fact that I have a boyfriend...) Then guess what happened next. Yup. He said I just need to practice. Yey! Right? No! I'm freaking out! T_T
I don't know why I'm freaking out... I just am... -sigh- Like right now I'm not so uptight about it... But I still kind of am at the same time... There's nothing I can do to change it but wait...

My father. Oh. My. Freaking. God. I don't like him. Sorry, I just don't. He told my mother that he doesn't like me, should I show him something he doesn't have for me? Why waste my time? I'm not going to though.
So, everything my Father does, pisses me off. I swear. We get to the park and our tickets weren't working and so Tyler didn't know they weren't working so he was still trying to get it to work, when my dad started to walk away. And when we started to walk towards my dad he was like "You need to start paying attention!!!" And I said "We ARE paying attention, dad!" and he said "Then what are you doing?!?!?" and I said "Does it matter?!" and Tyler, being the little smart ass he is, said, "That conversation turned out just like I thought it would." and I was NOT it the mood so, I glared at him, told him to shut up and kept walking... Then he came up and hugged me and was like "Are you okay?" And I said "Yes... I'm fine.. I'm sorry I snapped at you..." and it was like he didn't even noticed that I had snapped at him... Which was kind of sad...But whatever. Then we got into the park and my dad had his arm around me and I was moving it and telling him to get off of me, and he kept putting it back, and so I actually moved away from him and told him to stop. And then LATER I asked Tyler what he thought of my dad, and Tyler was like "Well, at least he's trying..." meaning I don't try!!! HE doesn't try! The reason why I don't want him touching me is because all I can think about is him freaking molesting me! Which he does ever time he touches me!!! (Not like illigal molestation...) But I can't tell Tyler that. Because he doesn't know that all my father does at home is watch porn!
I'm sorry... If you could not have told by now, I am frustrated... With myself and my family... I don't know... I'm just mentally exhausted... Which I have been for the last couple of days..
I'm thinking of going to bed and it's only 9:30 p.m. yey...

Who Said Friday the 13th was Bad Luck?

Today was perfect. Tyler and I are officially a couple. It has been almost a year and 10 months since I have had a real boyfriend... Tyler is my boyfriend. = ]
Today and yesterday he was trying to kiss me and I have been dodging it... But we have been holding hands and he was kissing my cheek this morning... And it just seemed like a perfect day... What I love about this is he won't get mad at me, he can't yell at me, and he's my boyfriend!!! (Sorry, if you couldn't have already saw, I'm excited that I have a boyfriend..) But it's weird... I've been his friend for so long... And I've liked him for so long, I would have never actually thought we would end up together... Like everyone thinks that we would have, but I was the last to think it..
And that girl in my 3rd period, who told me Tyler and I would make a horrible couple, saw us together and I was just hugging him and she comes up and was like "PDA!!!" And I'm like "Wow... Mature, much?" But oh well... I have been trying not to talk to Henry at all... But I have to because of the poetry jam coming up... Tyler I don't think wants me talking to Henry at all... But he hasn't said so... So... I have been doing nothing wrong. I have not been leading him on in any shape or form. And so that makes me feel less horrible...
But today was perfect, with the exception of everyone talking about me and Tyler... Which makes us even more weird... >_<
But I think it's a good weird... =]

The Future... Is Kind of Scary...

Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps... What will happen during my senior year when I am by myself practically... Tyler won't be there, and I don't really like anyone in my grade that goes to my school... Henry kind of made me think of it, because I'm not thinking that me and Tyler are going to be together forever.. But I didn't remember that we would only have a year together.. We shouldn't have waited so long... That girl in my 3rd period was right... She told me that if I would have told him in the beginning of the year that I liked him, then we would have been dating sooner, but I don't think I would have wanted to dated him in the beginning of the year, because I don't think it's fair to date someone you like when you are in love with another person... Which would have been Bobbie... Maybe that's why I really don't want to date Henry, because I like Tyler so much more.
Today was pretty good. So was yesterday. But of course, everyone who is anyone could guess why... And that's because Tyler actually holds my hands in front of his friends and mine. Last year when Bobbie and I were about to go out again, we were holding hands, but then some of his friends came up and he'd stop... He let go and  I was crushed.... But Tyler's not being like that and I was completely expecting him to be worse than Bobbie. But he's not. =] What a glorious day!

For the first time, I love Wednesday

So… Monday was okay nothing really happened at school, but Tyler told me after school that Angela gave us ‘permission’ to repeat Friday. Which really confused me, because why would his EX-girlfriend, who broke up with HIM, need to give US permission to date? So I reply to that was “I’m not giving her permission to hang all around Bobbie!” Not meaning what it looks like… Because I know I’m over Bobbie, thanks to Tyler… And Tyler took it as if I still like Bobbie from that and was like “No wonder you have been distant lately. Make up your damn mind, I’m losing mine.” Which he has now told me three times… But after fighting over HER pretty much, he said “Well, let’s just forget that Friday even happened, would that be easier for you?” And I, being STUPID, said “It actually would…” And then he got mad at THAT. Because I gave up too easily, so we stopped talking pretty much.

 And I thought he would at least talk to me like he would on a normal day on Tuesday, but he didn’t… And he wore this plaid shirt that he asked me my opinion for during the break… And I was going to go up to him and say something about it, but my friend was at the tables Tuesday, and we were talking the entire time. But when I went to go and T.A. for his 7^th period, and he didn’t even look at me… And I tried not to look at him… It was as if we were never friends… And that wasn’t what I wanted… So after school I texted him and said “I didn’t want you to forget that we ever were friends…” That’s when he told me that Angela was giving more like an approval than permission… And as his ‘best friend’ not his ‘ex-girlfriend’… which is his fault for not explaining that to me, because he thought that was good news when he told me that she gave permission, I didn’t think so much of it… And he actually admitted that he liked me. Like before he wouldn’t say it but Tuesday he actually said it, and he’s said it a couple of times so far… Which makes me happy…

That leads us to Wednesday, which I guess I liked a lot more than I realized, because Tyler could even tell that I was happy to be next to him… In the morning I sat next to one of my friends and Tyler was away talking to some of the guys, so I was talking to this girl, Alex, and then Tyler came up and put his arm on my head, and I grabbed it and took it off… Then, with a guy sitting next to me on a two person seat, he sat next to me, and we were just messing around, and he was playing with something and I was like “Are you having fun?” And he said “No, but this occupies my hands.” And so I just stayed silent for a second and he said “Is there something else I could do?” And I was like “No…” But I know he was talking about holding hands… And for a moment he flipped over his hand and his ring, I guess I just saw things, look like it was open on one side, but the class ring is supposed to be closed, so I flipped over his hand to look at it (which he probably thought I was just going to put my hand in his after flipping it over, which I’ve only really made the first move with Bobbie…), but it was fully closed and he was confused because I put back his hand and he looked at me and he was just messing with me, and he hugged me a lot… But like a minute or two later after I looked at the ring, he put it on my lap, and I put it on, and he just was laughing, because I said I stole it and he was like “I saw”.  Then I found out he has a tan line from where his ring is…And he grabbed for the ring and I didn’t let him get it… I was planning on keeping it for the day, but then decided against it, and gave it back to him… My little freshman was like “Why’d you give it back??” But she didn’t know that he reached for it…

Thursday was a good day too, and I had a cute outfit on, heels with a skirt, because there was a yearbook meeting, and I thought I would have had to dress nice for it, but I didn’t have to. So I got to school a little earlier than normal and I sat down at our table because I had a good 5 minutes to spare and this guy comes up, he is a friend of mine who usually sits at that table, and we start talking then he warns me that Tyler was coming up behind me, and I don’t even know what he did… But he did something to try to scare me. And then I told him I had to leave early, right after I ask Alex for her lotion. And he looked sad and asked why and I told him, so before Alex came he was hugging me and such… Then I found out that Alex didn’t have any lotion, which saddened me. So I left to go upstairs for the meeting. My shoe broke as I got up… It sucked so I glued it back together, which held it for the most part. So, I saw Tyler before 5^th period and he was like “How was the yearbook meeting?” and I said boring, then I said that I found out if I sell $400 worth of ads (which I have to do for a grade anyways) I get a free yearbook! How wonderful, right?? And he was pretending to me excited for me and was like “That’s awesome!” and I glared at him. And then he was like “Well, that’s going to be hard for you.” And I’m like “What’s that supposed to mean??” And so he insulted me, and then made me hug him, and I hugged him so tight I cracked his neck, but then he said it felt good, but I still feel bad about it. But he actually walked me to my class, which he hasn’t done in a while… And then waited outside, which I did not expect, but we didn’t talk much then… But then I went into T.A. for 7^th period, and my friend, Lane, wasn’t there (Tyler doesn’t like Lane because I talk to Lane in that class more than I talk to Tyler.) And so I was just sitting up front and Tyler comes up after this freshman comes up and talks to me. And he was just like “You look bored.” And I said “I am! Lane isn’t here!” And he was like “Oh darn…” And then he picked up a paperclip and I looked at him weirdly and was like, “What are you doing?” and he said he was planning to bomb the school or something and then we start to talk about other things, and we were actually kind of holding hands even when the freshman came back and started to talk to me. When she left he threw the paperclip down my shirt! Which was tucked into my skirt. And I’m like “TYLER!!!!” And he’s cracking up and I’m like freaking out on how to get this thing out of my bra without looking weird. So I got up from my seat and made it fall out from my skirt. After it fell out I picked it up and threw it away, and he was like “Yeah, throw it away!” and I’m like whatever, and I pretending to be all mad at him, and he’s like “I’m sorry do you want a hug?” and I look at him and I’m like “No!” and I turned to face away from him and he hugged me anyways and there was these two girls who turned around and just started to stare at us. And I turn to face him again, and he’s still cracking up. And then he was like “Are you sure you don’t want a hug?” And I’m like “Yes, I’m sure.” And he holds out his arms and I shake my head and he puts my hands over his shoulders, like he normally does when I refuse to hug him, and then he went in for a hug, and I put done my hands so he couldn’t hug me. It was so funny! And so was his face he was like “You’re so mean!” and I’m like “You’re one to talk.” And we just kept talking and he has this thing with trying to mess with me so he grabs my nose… And it’s the weirdest thing… So I bother him by poking him, because he jumps every single time. And I would like turn away from him when he would go for my nose, or I would grab his hand, and then we would just end up holding hands, because he wouldn’t let go...

Friday! Friday morning Tyler came up and was talking to me, and he asked for a hug, and I said no, and he was like “Why not?” and I told him I was still made at him about the paperclip and he just started to crack up again… He was so proud of that stupid thing… And he was like “You know that was hilarious.” And I was like “No it wasn’t!!!” And he was just laughing, then he gave me a hug and I hugged him back and he was like “I thought you weren’t going to give me a hug…” and I was just laughing and said “Shut up…” and he laughed… And then his APUSH exam was Friday, so he was like “Well, I don’t know if I should go to so-and-so’s room to study…” and I didn’t say anything, because I had to go and meet Henry to give him money for this poetry jam, for my friends’ ticket. And he got mad and was like “Ugh, you don’t even care.” So when he grabbed his jacket to leave I grabbed my bag and went to where Henry said he hangs out in the morning, but he wasn’t there, so I went to my locker instead, then went back downstairs to talk to Alex. Tyler came BACK. While I was talking to Alex about her boy problems, and Tyler just stood there next to me and listened to her, when I was trying to get away so we could talk, Tyler and I. But she would not stop talking, and I don’t know what to tell her, I doubt he really wants to date her if he wasn’t gone for her yet. But whatever. So last night we were talking, Tyler and I, and we got on the conversation that I don’t care about something, and then we got to the point that we dropped it. Then I asked how he thing he did on his exam, and he said his teachers stupid, and I said I know that’s what you think, but teaching yourself enough to pass the test? And he thinks so, so I said congrats and then he was like “Sure…” And I said “Ugh… Why not?” and he said ”Because you don’t really care, provided you don’t already hope I fail.” And I said “Why would I want you to fail?? I wouldn’t waste a hope on that!” then he came back with “Because you hate me.” And all I could think was “really? This again???” but I said “Yes. I hate you, Tyler.” Then he said “Hah! I knew it.” And I was just like “Mhm.” Then he said I was mean! And I’m thinking “WHAT? You are calling ME mean? When you always think I hate you???”  but I said “Yep. I’m just such a horrible person.” Then he said “Why are you so mean to me?” and I said “I thought it was obvious. I hate you, remember?” then he was like “Why do I hang out with you?!?!” and I said “I have no idea, because you hate me too.” And then he said that I knew that wasn’t true. And I said the same thing back at him. Then he was like “I can never tell what you’re feeling.” And I didn’t really know how to respond so I said “Of course you wouldn’t…” then he said “Hey, you suppress your emotions and very little leaks through your face… Except for that one time…” and I asked what one time..? and he said “That time earlier this week… We sat next to each other on the lunchroom patio… I’ve never seen you smile so much before…” and I think he was talking about Wednesday… Because that was the only day I was like super happy about him… And then I got all quiet then he asked why a million times, and I didn’t tell him what I was thinking so he got mad and said good night. Yey! More Tyler fights... =[

Perfect

That was today. Perfect. And Tyler made it perfect. =]

So The Fight is Over

Okay so Tyler and I talked about it. I guess it's not because of Angela being his ex giving him permission to date me, but more like his 'best friend' saying it's okay to date me... And I thought I messed everything up, because last I told Tyler if he's going to be an ass then I don't want Friday to happen again. But we finally talked about it after school. And I told him why I was distant for the past month, which he thought it was because of Bobbie. (Which I can absolutly say that Bobbie is nothing to me anymore.) So, I think he's now relieved to know that it was what he said (which was that I shouldn't annoy him) he said he was joking... I don't know when to keep him seriously and not.

She wants me to play nice

Right now my head is about to explode. Angela, I guess, has given me 'permission' to date Tyler. Really? PERMISSION?! Really? Does that mean I have to give her permission to date Bobbie. Right now, I'll 'play nice'. Yey. More joyous fakeness in my life.

First Day of May and 2 has become 3...

So, yesterday I went to a Birthday Party... I shouldn't have gone... Because Bobbie was there... And so was Angela... And that just reminded me of how the day before, I was with Tyler... And he was holding MY hand... But I don't even know anymore... But Bobbie and I talked, I of course make fun of him all the time, because what else am I supposed to do? And he was like "Your insults have a lot to do with nerds, do you have a problem with them?" and right before that we were getting ready to leave, and he changed back into his jeans (he was in his trunks before) and he forgot his shirt outside, and I walked in side as he was walking out of the bathroom, with no shirt on, and his backpack on. (At least Bobbie doesn't have a good tummy, because I might had died if he did...) and it just looked like some person who do to look cool so I was joking and I said "Oh, you look cool." and he glared at me, then told me to be quiet... Of course he was joking... And then when we got outside Angela actually said something about it too and he was like "I was just in my trunks without a shirt, why is it a problem now??" It was funny...But back to him saying I have a problem with nerds I said "The shirt comment had nothing to do with nerds." then this was like really random he said "Well, are you angry with me?" And I was like so confused. Plus not paying much attention, because I was texting Henry. And I looked at him and tilted my head a bit and said "Why would I be angry with you? What could have you done to upset me?" And he just shrugged... And you know how before I would have ignored Bobbie normally, so I don't have crazy thoughts or see his him if I was thinking about him? Well, now that I am thinking about him I can see him perfectly clear... Which is not a good thing, and like I said before, I have a soft spot for him... This is bad...

And yesterday I was texting Tyler... And I said something, and he was kind of getting on my nerves anyways, and he said "Just be quiet." and I said "Ok. Bye." Because I wasn't going to take it from him yesterday. Just really not in the mood, well I would have been in the mood before he tried to talk to me, because all I can think about is how our date went... And I just don't know... And when I said bye he said "... Bye..." I think he knows he messed up, but he never texted back after that... So, he must have not really wanted to talk to me anyways... So, whatever...

A Date or a Hang Out?

So... Last night I talked to Tyler. He thinks I've been avoiding him, and asked if I was busy for the rest of break... I was so close to hanging out with Henry today... But I went to the movies with Tyler instead... We went to see 'Limitless'... He picked me up and drove us there, the only sucky part of the equation, is that his brother had to come, which was just a bit awkward. But in the middle of the movie I just decided to use his shoulder for a head rest... But only after he was making it perfect obvious that he wanted to be holding hands. So, when I put my head on his shoulder, I also put my hand on his arm, then he put his hand over my hand and I just loved it… Then for like the last 20 minutes of the movie he put his other hand over my other hand and I turned my hand over and we intertwined fingers… =]

Now THAT was a date that I really, really did enjoy… He got a little mad when he saw that I was texting Henry too. But that’s a good thing.

Oh and Tyler really wanted a hug from me. I could tell. Because sometimes when he says something like semi-mean he’s like “Oh, I’m sorry, do you want a hug?” And that’s what happened and I rolled my eyes and said no. And he’s like “Are you sure?” and held out his arm, but we were sitting down, so it would have been a mega awkward hug. And then like 5 minutes later he said something else then asked “Do you want a hug?” and I was like laughing and said “No!” And I think it’s funny how he wanted a hug… And during the movie, and would always look down at me, and I would look up at him and he would caress my face… I’ve never have had a guy (Or anyone for a matter of fact) CARESS my face… And he did it a few times, like he wanted to kiss me… And that’s what it seemed like was going to happen. Us end up kissing… But I’m not sure if I would want that… Like I would, but I don’t know if my first kiss was enough… Security to have a kiss with Tyler, when he’s probably made out with each of his girlfriends that he has had…

I have finally made my choice... Between Henry and Tyler I mean... Of course, it's Tyler, or I would have been hanging out with Henry on a lunch date. I CHOOSE Tyler!

Controlling Boyfriend... But we aren't dating...?

So Wednesday I put my Facebook status as: “You're not worth the time that this is taking... ♥” And Tyler texted me and was like “What’s with the Facebook post?” and I said “It’s a song. Chill out.” Then he said “So a major coincidence? It kinda put a damper on things here for me…” and I said “That wasn’t the intention…” Then he said he had to go… I was hoping he would have asked to go see a movie or something… And that was the first text in a week!!! A WEEK! And it’s him getting MAD at me?!?! UGH. I like him way too much for him to be getting mad at my song lyrics that I post on Facebook! This sucks.

And guess what? Henry’s Bi. Yes. He’s freaking Bi! Yey! This sucks! And I don’t know what to do anymore… If Tyler finds out about Henry, he will hate me… But at the same time, I want Tyler to find out I’m still talking to him. Is that wrong of me?

Nightmare

I seriously just woke up from a nightmare. I thought I was pregnant. And Henry was flirting with freshmen that I knew!!! It was horrible...
There's like my really close friend, Beth, who's a freshmen in my 8th period class. And there was this other girl, Corey, who is also in my 8th period class. And then there was Henry.
In my dream This is what happened:
I was walking around HCC campus, then I started to freak out, because I thought I forgot I was pregnant. And I was going to my first classes. And so then I was at my High School and had to go into a class that Tyler was in, and he didn't see me, and I rushed out. I started to walk with Beth and then we saw Henry. Just sitting there. Then BETH like sat on his lap and started to talk to him. And I'm like 'What in the world?!' And so 8th period rolls around, and I walk into the class and this Corey girl is being talked to about Henry, and shes like "Well, did you see how Beth was on his lap??" And so I was freaking out, thinking, "They think Henry's is BETH'S and he's mine!!??!!!!!" So I sit down and so does Beth and we're talking, and she brings out this book that has all of this written crud on in. And she was like "Yeah, he gave this to me." And I was like "This is Henry's? Henry wrote this???" And she's like "Yeah!" And I was glowing green I could just feel it. And I didn't really read what was on it, but it was like all sweet things about her, I bet... And so when I was opening the book I was thinking "This can't be happening" then "This is just a dream. It's just a dream!" So, I forced myself to wake up from that horrible nightmare. I have to tell my friend, Jenni about this because she tells me what my dreams mean...